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Child Abuse
Children are considered as future of a country. If their present is bright and healthy, the future of the country would also dazzle.
In the process of development, the child goes through many stages. As an infant, he receives love and care of...
Dormmates- Living With Others Can Be Tough
Living on campus is very different from living with your immediate family. You may not know your roommates very well. You may come from different parts of the country, or different parts of the world. Your roommates may have different cultures,...
How to AssistTroubled Teens
What parents of a teen haven’t wondered where their sweet child went and who the angry and rebellious child is that took his or her place. After all, adolescence is a time of change. While each child is different, there are some behaviors that all...
Is Your Child Touch Sensitive?
Does your child cringe when you stroke his face?
Must he have all the labels cut out of his clothing before he will wear them?
Does your child refuse to wear certain fabrics, such as wool because it is scratchy?
Does your child refuse to...
Separation Anxiety in Dogs
What is Separation Anxiety?
When you leave the house, it is nice to know that your dog goes to his favorite spot and sleeps peacefully until you return. However dogs suffering from separation anxiety are not so lucky. Separation anxiety can...
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Dating Tips for the Shy Woman
Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy people. You want to meet the right person, but you’re too scared to do anything about it.
Introductions—sticking out one’s hand and looking another person in the eye—can be terrifying for the shy woman. The brain locks up as you scramble to think of something relevant to say. You fall apart as soon as you’re asked what you do for a living. You stammer. The heat rises in your face and under your arms. You’re suddenly incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to yourself, “Why would anyone care about me? I’m really not that interesting!”
Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded in meeting new people and forming lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice, you can too. Here are some tips for taming your social terror.
1. Prepare a pitch. The question, “So, Sally, what do you do for a living?” is bound to come up, so have a ready answer. No need to brag about capturing the company Tidy Break room Award; just state clearly what you do for a living and don’t apologize for it!
2. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you), so ask questions. Come up with a list before you leave the house, i.e., How did you get into that line of work? Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie? And so on.
3. When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, try saying something like “And what about you?”
4. Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about what you’ll say next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.
5. Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get ‘em every time. Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a
mirror before you leave the house.
6. Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
7. Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something you like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,” will do it.
8. Stay on top of current events. You don’t necessarily want to bring up your stand on Bush v. Kerry during a first meeting, but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.
9. Remember the weather! Some people have the “gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers feel like they’ve known them forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody. People relate to them.
10. Hold your head up. It’s the simplest, most effective way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s vibe.” You’re guaranteed to be a hit!
Be warned: These tips will not help you if you don’t leave the house. It’s just too easy to watch a Friends rerun for the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise you that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your bedroom window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it will surely get easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate yourself for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand that you earned it. Know that countless wonderful nights are on their way to you.
Terry MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or Beatiful). Visit her website at www.marrysmart.com
terry@marrysmart.com
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